Unkle Adams: Famous At Any Cost
Life makes fools of us all from time to time, but few pay for the privilege
I wrote a totally unqualified analysis of a woman named Abby Brown about two years ago, at a time when everything in my own life had gone to hell, I was questioning what it meant to be me and Abby Brown provided a convenient thing to point to and declare “well, whatever I am at least it isn’t that.” The article was called Abby Brown: Commodity As Identity and it attempted to profile the nature of a person who fundamentally lacks awareness of their deeper identity, which has been hidden under the many layers of consumption.
My writing on Abby Brown was not something I expected much success from, I assumed it would get maybe five hundred views and then be quickly forgotten. One of life’s little surprises came in the fact that it still receives hundreds of views every month. Another of the surprises was the article’s crossover appeal with ‘fan’ communities for an almost middle aged rapper called Unkle Adams, from Saskatchewan, one of the more boring parts of Canada.
In the midst of unexpected popularity, I agreed to write an article on Unkle Adams along the same lines, which I started and restarted more times than I can count. Writer’s block hobbled every attempt I made at progress until I gave up, once every six months or so returning for another aborted attempt, which turned out to be a blessing in disguise.
I wrote the piece on Abby Brown when I was nearing twenty-eight, still coming to terms with events in the recent past, attempting to overcome the heartbreak with artistic expression. Returning to Unkle Adams mere days before I turn the dreaded landmark of thirty years old, there’s some important perspective I was missing that I believe held me back before.
Since I haven’t been involved in the Unkle Adams communities for years at this point, having long since stopped caring about his saga in favor of my own, I decided to go back to the beginning and watch the video that started it all: The AT LEAST A MILLION Mission (Episode 1 — “-$164,000”)
The video attracted so much attention for the surrealistic and unbelievable nature of the whole premise: a thirty-one year old man claims that a few years earlier he quit his job, having decided to throw everything he had at his lifelong dream of being a rapper. Reflecting on the few years before the video was made, he concedes, “I thought I was going to blow up by now.” Shortly after, he makes reference to his supposed “international fanbase.” Another concession, “the odds are against me … I feel like an underdog.” Finally, he snaps out of what seems to be a daze, looks straight into the camera and declares: “but with that said, it’s not over. It’s not over until I win at this game.”
If the video had ended there, it would already be going down in history as one of the most delusional and confounding videos ever posted in the history of the internet, yet one may reel in horror at the realization that we are less than two minutes into a ten minute video.
Over the next eight minutes, this utterly white bread Canadian seeks to convince us (but actually himself) that he can make it in the rap game and he’s out to inspire people. Immediately after, he declares himself to be in $164,000 debt. Truly inspiring.
There is an element of existential horror when he points to his head and plainly states that the rational mind, presumably his, says “don’t keep going, you’re in too deep, you’re not earning enough, you got bills to pay, you got rent to pay and the money isn’t there...”
Two of the most jaw dropping moments come when Unkle Adams, suddenly freed from the shackles of rationality, continues: “but my heart says, keep going, you’re supposed to do this, you’re the one, you’re meant to do this, you’re meant to show other people that they can do it too in whatever field they choose to do it in … By the way, I’ve already sold my house for this, okay.”
There is a kind of faux self-awareness that permeates every minute of the video, where Unkle Adams makes plainly rational statements about the seriousness of the position he’s in or even how other people may see him (“I bet a lot of people watching this are like, wow, this guy, I can’t believe this guy”) but then makes a full retreat to the land of fantasy, where if he just keeps spending money it will all soon return to him. Fame and fortune will materialize and everyone who told him to use that rationality you fucking idiot will look like the real fools.
Unkle Adams is fascinating as a paradoxical person. He exists almost as an Eldritch Abomination, something clearly beyond our comprehension. Here is someone who can think rationally and knows it, but who deliberately chooses what he knows is irrational, someone who can see himself how others must be seeing him and decides they are the crazy ones for not believing in him as much as he does. Unkle Adams sees quite clearly that quitting his job, putting himself $164,000 in the hole and selling his house to continue spending money are all irrational choices leading nowhere, he knows this, but he pledges to continue in hopes of somehow inspiring people.
Perspective is an important piece of the Unkle Adams puzzle that seems sadly neglected, he may have grown older but he has not accepted the reality of what it means to grow older. The reality of his situation is simple: he’s grown up and passed his teenage dreams by. He never was on the cutting edge of anything in particular. He was never an exceptional person.
These conclusions sound depressing because they are depressing, it takes the maturity that comes with age to admit these things to yourself. Many people simply decide not to, finding themselves fifty-five living a different life than they wanted so they end up fifty-six with a younger wife and a new Corvette.
Unkle Adams is, admittedly, an extreme case. His midlife crisis hit at twenty-eight rather than forty-eight and, while the odds are definitely decreasing by the year, the above average artist around his age probably does still have a chance to get somewhere with their art.
Later on in his series, we find out where the money went, and that illuminates perhaps the deepest issue of Unkle Adams’ character. The large sum of money went towards the production of new beats that he had no real part in making, the professional production of his albums, unnecessarily expensive music videos, advertising and et cetera. Unkle Adams has removed himself largely from the process of art and become simulacra. Unkle Adams was never merely purchasing fame and fortune, he was purchasing an entirely new identity based around art-as-vehicle for the pursuit of fame and fortune.
The paradox of Unkle Adams is that he is best seen as a man attempting to transition beyond rationality into an entirely new state free from the burdens of cognitive dissonance. Unkle Adams is not only trying to buy himself a new identity but trying to sell himself on the reality of this new identity. This Sisyphean task propels him forward as much as it creates interest from the observer, who easily recognizes the futility of such acts.
Unkle Adams was first trained by society to be a consumer, something he clearly gave his entire life to, and later the consumption predictably trained him. Unkle Adams should stand as a potent reminder that, while we can engage in the contrivances of the capitalist system, we should always be aware that they will consume us if we let them.
What is the Unkle Adams consciousness of your own life?
Author’s notes
I haven’t kept up with the Unkle Adams saga since about two years ago, so you may consider this an analysis based on the early AT LEAST A MILLION saga; its conclusions may have been disproven or its conclusions may have even been false from the start. I’m totally unqualified for this and anything else, by any reasonable standard I’m the Unkle Adams of both writing and psychology.
This writing turned out much better than expected, though considerably less on the entertainment side than the one on Abby Brown, but I suppose time makes pseudo-intellectuals of us all.
I hope it was found to be enjoyable nevertheless!
